My ’10 week 10 pound’ challenge – during the past 8 weeks I’ve managed to GAIN a further 5lb - I seem set to speed back up to my original weight – I’m really depressed, demoralised and disenchanted with myself! All those positive good things I achieved last year are slowly but surely slipping through my fingers as old habits return with a vengeance and a familiar puffed out face starts to appear in my mirror.
This is so unfathomable to me – why I have let this happen, especially as I have the holiday of a lifetime on the horizon – it’s too late now to even think about getting to goal – if I didn’t eat for the next two weeks I’m not going to be anywhere near 10st 8lb… all I could hope to see on the scales in two weeks would be a 2lb loss – 4lb at a real push and let’s be honest, I don’t want to be a defeatist but……… it just isn’t going to happen – if I can maintain my current weight – now that is more realistic – it would also be a minor miracle!
Yesterday I rejoined the gym and today I’m having the old familiar guilt feelings – I know I should go, I should get dressed and just get out to the gym and make a start with a bit of enthusiasm and positive energy… I’m digging deep but I can’t seem to find any…
12lbs on has taken me from a size 10 to a size 14! I think it’s because not only did I gain the pounds, I stopped exercising altogether so my firm bits went back to wobbly bits in no time at all!
I can’t even put into words how unhappy this is making me feel… So – what am I going to do about it? I know 10st 8lbs is my ‘on top of the world’ weight - it’s also a realistic weight for my age – and for the fact that I have spent so long yo-yo dieting and it has taken a toll on my skin! I have already ruled out being at 10st 8lb for L.A. it’s just seriously not going to happen. So… here is what I’m going to do…
1. having re joined the gym – I’m going to make the effort to go at least twice this week, just to get re-acquainted with it!
2. I’m going to start recording what I’m eating again on My Fitness Pal
3. I can’t do diet chef long-term, there is no maintainance support - I still haven’t used up my lunches and dinners from a previous order – so I’m going to look for a healthy way of eating that is based on natural unprocessed foods.
4. I’m giving up processed sugar – at the moment I’ve even wondered if I’m on the edge of diabetes I have been craving chocolate and sweet things like a woman possessed – so I need to deal with this! So… I’m making that start today and I’m taking it a day at a time again.